I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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