You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
