The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
