Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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