Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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