I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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