Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
