Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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