May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
