so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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