The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She bit a glass in half.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
