just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
