Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
