sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
