i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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