Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
