They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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