I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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