my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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