i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
