Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
