kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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