Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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