I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
