While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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