It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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