Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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