just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
