matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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