yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
