Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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