This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
