I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.