Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick