When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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