32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.