It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only