I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
