I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
