I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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