this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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