I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
