i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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