What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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