i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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