does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
