tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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