her vagine was all disorganized.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize