you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize