sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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