i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
