i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
