he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
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We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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