Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
