whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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