Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
