I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize