whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
