Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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