If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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