what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
