Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
