i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
