Apparently you make a good broom.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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