a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
