I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
