well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
