Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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