Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize